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Boots Chantilly<p>Ooo, it's time for a 🧵!</p><p>Every time I post my support for <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/abortion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>abortion</span></a> rights &amp; access, some jackwagon comes along &amp; tries to shame this <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> by responding AREN'T YOU GLAD YOUR MOTHER CHOSE LIFE (or something similar).</p><p>1st off, my mother didn't chose anything. I was born in 1961, &amp; choice didn't exist. She was forced to grow &amp; bear me--&amp; then forced to surrender me to strangers.</p><p>2nd, I absolutely wish she'd had reproductive choice. EVERYONE should--not everyone but my mother. +</p>
Tony Corsentino :bongoCat:<p>I am an <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a>. I am also a <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/librarian" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>librarian</span></a>, and I have the incredible privilege of getting to talk at my library with author and fellow adoptee Susan Kiyo Ito about her magnificent new book _I Would Meet You Anywhere_, a National Book Critics Circle Award nominee. The local public-access TV station is planning to record it and post it to YouTube.</p>
Tony Corsentino :bongoCat:<p>One great thing about being an <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> who openly criticizes <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a> is being tagged “ungrateful.”</p><p>Meanwhile these fuckers simply freecycle their kids when they decide they don’t want to play house anymore.</p>
Boots Chantilly<p>Ppl looove to say how selfless adoptive parents are, but imo, if you're not willing to care for a child in need unless you get to own him, you're selfISH, not selfLESS. The feds allow a $13.5k per <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> tax credit to adopters, but a literal FRACTION of that amount given to an expectant mother in crisis could prevent most relinquishments from happening in the 1st place. Pls think about that the next time someone starts speaking of adopters as saviors. <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/NAAM" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>NAAM</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/AdopteeVoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AdopteeVoices</span></a></p>
Boots Chantilly<p>Adult <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@corsent" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>corsent</span></a></span> dropping adoption truth bombs in his <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/NAAM" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>NAAM</span></a> 🧵. Raise your hand if you knew that "the one federal agency that exercises regulatory oversight over <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a> is the Department of Commerce." <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/AdopteeVoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AdopteeVoices</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/UglyTruth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>UglyTruth</span></a></p>
Tony Corsentino :bongoCat:<p>What sustains me in my work as a<br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/librarian" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>librarian</span></a> is my belief that the freedom to read and learn without others’ interference is possibly the *only* form of autonomy a democratic society grants to children. To me, as an <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> denied essential knowledge as a child, this is everything.</p>
Partially reformed cave goblin<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://mastodon.de/@ErikUden" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>ErikUden</span></a></span> Many of us <a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptees</span></a> would actually prefer for plenary <a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a> to be abolished, or at minimum heavily reformed. Adoption is not the rosy &amp; universally wonderful thing it is frequently advertised as to the general public.</p><p><a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/Adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Adoptee</span></a> children have higher rates of certain mental illnesses &amp; substance abuse problems, &amp; have a 3x greater rate of suicide attempts than kept people. There are also serious ethical issues with the perverse incentives of making unplanned or unaffordable children into commodities to be bought &amp; sold by socioeconomically privileged people, rather than creating social support systems that could help preserve family ties wherever possible.</p><p>There's also the fact that in many places (such as my own home country &amp; state) adoption comes with certain practices which are quite harmful to the child involved; for example, falsifying birth certificates of adoptees &amp; sealing the originals away from them. Only recently has this begun to slowly change, &amp; even now adoptees frequently face patronizing policies that force us to beg for the right to our own records rather than having a right to them. The adoption industry is also known to use predatory, manipulative, &amp; coercive practices to encourage pregnant people to surrender their children for adoption.</p><p>I know that this sentiment of adopting over procreating often comes from good intentions, from people who want to help children in need &amp; be ecologically responsible. However, because people who are drawn towards adopting often view their own actions through this lens of benevolence, the voices of us actual adoptees who speak out about these harms frequently get sidelined. We should be building a world where family separation is a last resort rather than a service industry; where alternatives such as legal guardianship &amp; so-called "simple" adoption protect the rights &amp; interests of children when some degree of separation is required.</p>
Mindy Stern<p>Coming out of the adoption fog—leaving behind fear, obligation, guilt—was a long, complicated, beautiful journey. </p><p>My story <span class="h-card"><a href="https://me.dm/@medium" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>medium</span></a></span></p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adopteevoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adopteevoices</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adopteerights" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adopteerights</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://mindystern.medium.com/coming-out-of-the-fog-bd6891506ba1" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">mindystern.medium.com/coming-o</span><span class="invisible">ut-of-the-fog-bd6891506ba1</span></a></p>
Tony Corsentino :bongoCat:<p>Telling an <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> “be grateful you’re alive” is perfect, because that is kidnapper’s language.</p>
snaffoops<p><a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adopteevoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adopteevoices</span></a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adopteesofmastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adopteesofmastodon</span></a> </p><p>Has anyone considered creating a server specifically for the adoptee community? Or are we all pretty much satisfied with things as they are?</p>
AGreatSound<p>Happy Father’s Day tomorrow for all who partake. <br>-<br>-<br>-<br>I have to admit Father’s Day is particularly hard for me. I honestly do not feel like I am a good dad to my son. </p><p>I feel like I’m still at square one with unpacking what it means to live with someone who is genetically related to me and my relationship with my son suffers for it. Even though I’ve tried to unpack that for years. </p><p>It feels I am staring at a blank or bricked up wall and I didn’t brick it up. </p><p>I’m sorry.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a></p>
AGreatSound<p>As an adoptee I want to celebrate the Supreme Court upholding the ICWA in Brackeen v. Haaland.</p><p>There is a great 3 minute video summary of the case here: <a href="https://www.law.uw.edu/news-events/news/2022/stacey-lara" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">law.uw.edu/news-events/news/20</span><span class="invisible">22/stacey-lara</span></a></p><p>And a quick twitter thread here: <a href="https://twitter.com/NSegoviaEsq/status/1669356733339426816" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">twitter.com/NSegoviaEsq/status</span><span class="invisible">/1669356733339426816</span></a></p><p>The case has far reaching consequences but starts with an important facet of adoption and how it is used to destroy communities and particularly communities of color. Luckily this one avenue is still closed off thanks to today’s ruling. </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/SCOTUS" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>SCOTUS</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/ICWA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ICWA</span></a></p>
Jane Chapman🧬🌳<p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://mstdn.social/@AGreatSound" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>AGreatSound</span></a></span> Does it really matter what others know? We are who we are. The circumstances of your birth should be irrelevant to how others respond to you <a href="https://mastodon.nz/tags/Adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Adoptee</span></a></p>
AGreatSound<p>It’s so weird some days I feel like everyone in the world knows I am a literal bastard. <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/unwanted" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>unwanted</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/bornwithoutaname" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>bornwithoutaname</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a></p>
AGreatSound<p>If you want to talk to me about adoption you need to at least know about a set of facts surrounding adoption particularly the US. </p><p>This is an on going thread of foundational facts to know before we can start to have a conversation about adoption. </p><p>Especially if you feel you are a liberal and open minded. <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptionfundementals" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptionfundementals</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a></p>
AGreatSound<p>I truly miss my community of <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptees</span></a> I wish I could talk to some people about a lot of topics that have cropped up around adoption. </p><p>I don’t know how far this will reach but if you’re an <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> on the fediverse will you reply below?</p>
Ainebet<p>My story has been winning some radio awards. Super thankful for Rob Sussman and the team at WTAQ for doing a great job and for being the first place I was really able to tell my truth publicly. <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdopteesOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AdopteesOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/Adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/Adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Adoption</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdoptionIsTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AdoptionIsTrauma</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdoptionReunion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AdoptionReunion</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/WTAQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>WTAQ</span></a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/RobSussman" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>RobSussman</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/dJPePrn38Cg" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">youtu.be/dJPePrn38Cg</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
AGreatSound<p>Reunion is fucking hard for me. It's clear most of the biofamily on my mom's side want nothing to do with me. What's worse is that I think a lot of them would be fine with it but my biomom has told them all to shun me as far as I can tell.</p><p>By themselves they all say "I don't know why [biomom] feels the way she does." But they never for one second think to ask her about it and have her talk it out with them.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a></p>
Tory Bae<p>Today, guess who learned they’ve been mispronouncing their birth name for 35 years? </p><p>🙋🏻‍♀️ Me.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoption" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoption</span></a></p>
Tory Bae<p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/bookstodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>bookstodon</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/BookReview" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>BookReview</span></a> <br>Finished reading “Sea Change” and loved it. It was a nice amalgamation of grief, love, and closure in Ro’s life. Add in a connection to an octopus, along with snippets of a Korean American family dynamic gives a creative read with depth &amp; nuance for anyone who has ever felt lost or uncertain.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/books" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>books</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/AsianAuthor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>AsianAuthor</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/asian" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>asian</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/korean" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>korean</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/reading" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>reading</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/read" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>read</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/adoptee" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>adoptee</span></a></p>