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Torsten TorstenAn diesem Lied haben eine Freundin und ich vor 3 Jahren geschrieben. Seit langem wollte ich die Melodie etwas bestimmter und den Text ein bisschen ausführlicher haben und so habe ich den <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Fawm2025" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Fawm2025</a> genutzt, mich hingesetzt und es ein bisschen umgeschrieben. Hier ist die neue Version. Feedback ist hoch willkommen.<a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Lied" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Lied</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Songwriting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Songwriting</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Workinprogress" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Workinprogress</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Chanson" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Chanson</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/German" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#German</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Guitar" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Guitar</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Singersongwriter" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Singersongwriter</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/Liedermacher" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Liedermacher</a> <a href="https://social.tchncs.de/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ShadyVance" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ShadyVance</a>’s (<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/JDVance" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#JDVance</a>) <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Weak" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Weak</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Excuse" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Excuse</a> for his “<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Pet" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Pet</a> Eating” <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Lie" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Lie</a> Just <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/BlewUp" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#BlewUp</a> In His Face. At bottom, Vance’s whole purpose of running with this <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/grotesque" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#grotesque</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/scam" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#scam</a> about <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Haitians" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Haitians</a> has not been to draw attention to the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/story" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#story</a> of <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Springfield" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Springfield</a>, but to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> it. <a href="https://newrepublic.com/series/48/jd-vances-weak-excuse-pet-eating-lie-just-blew-face" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://newrepublic.com/series/48/jd-vances-weak-excuse-pet-eating-lie-just-blew-face</a>

Marc'O 🕹️ ¯\_ (ツ) _/¯Ambermoon.net v1.10.0 released! This is a full C# rewrite of Ambermoon and will run at least on Windows, Linux and Mac. <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/gaming" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#gaming</a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/games" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#games</a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/retro" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#retro</a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/retrogaming" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#retrogaming</a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/amiga" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#amiga</a> <a href="https://nerdculture.de/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> <a href="https://github.com/Pyrdacor/Ambermoon.net/releases/tag/v1.10.0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://github.com/Pyrdacor/Ambermoon.net/releases/tag/v1.10.0</a>

River J. HopkinsTHE LIST IS FULL.REALITIES ARE SHIFTING.THE NEW WOLF MOON IS RISING SOON.<a href="https://youtu.be/mihLsznAxfc?si=ta3r-Y8qcqD64jCR" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/mihLsznAxfc?si=ta3r-Y8qcqD64jCR</a><a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/TheOutcrossedSeries" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TheOutcrossedSeries</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/TheOutcrossed" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TheOutcrossed</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/UnderTheWolfMoon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#UnderTheWolfMoon</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/ReRelease" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReRelease</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/Rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewrite</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/PaperbackRelease" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#PaperbackRelease</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/ComingSoon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ComingSoon</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/ComingSoon2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ComingSoon2024</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/DarkFantasy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#DarkFantasy</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈The <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/conservatives" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#conservatives</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/plan" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#plan</a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ban" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ban</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/transpeople" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#transpeople</a> from <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/singlesex" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#singlesex</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/spaces" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#spaces</a>. If they <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/win" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#win</a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/generalelection" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#generalelection</a>, the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Tories" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Tories</a> have pledged to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/EqualityAct" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EqualityAct</a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/exclude" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exclude</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#transgender</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/people" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#people</a> from <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/singlesexspaces" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#singlesexspaces</a>. <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Women" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Women</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transgender</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQIA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQIA</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/UK" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#UK</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Politics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Politics</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/GeneralElection" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#GeneralElection</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Conservatives" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Conservatives</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Extremism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Extremism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Fascism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Fascism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Religion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Religion</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Tories" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Tories</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/TERFS" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TERFS</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hate</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Bigotry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bigotry</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Violence" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Violence</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Genocide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Genocide</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Discrimination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Discrimination</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Homophobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Homophobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transphobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transphobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/EmptyThePews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EmptyThePews</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/TERFIsland" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TERFIsland</a> <a href="https://diva-magazine.com/2024/06/03/equality-act-rewriting-tories/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://diva-magazine.com/2024/06/03/equality-act-rewriting-tories/</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Warn" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Warn</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Voters" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Voters</a> About the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Radicalism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Radicalism</a> Beyond <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Trump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Trump</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Republicans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Republicans</a> are plotting to literally <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Constitution" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Constitution</a> to eliminate <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/core" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#core</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rights" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rights</a> and <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/protections" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#protections</a>. <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Women" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Women</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transgender</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQIA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQIA</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Conservatives" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Conservatives</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Extremism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Extremism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Fascism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Fascism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Religion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Religion</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/RepublicanParty" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#RepublicanParty</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hate</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Bigotry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bigotry</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Violence" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Violence</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Genocide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Genocide</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Discrimination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Discrimination</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Misogyny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Misogyny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Homophobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Homophobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transphobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transphobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ThePartyOfHate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ThePartyOfHate</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/EmptyThePews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EmptyThePews</a><a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/178442/republicans-rewrite-constitution-radicalism-beyond-trump" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://newrepublic.com/article/178442/republicans-rewrite-constitution-radicalism-beyond-trump</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Georgia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Georgia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Republicans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Republicans</a> Plans to Use <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/WomensRights" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WomensRights</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Bill" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bill</a> to Allow More <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/HateCrimes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#HateCrimes</a>. They are attempting to completely <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/laws" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#laws</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/protecting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#protecting</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/people" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#people</a>. <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Women" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Women</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transgender</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQIA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQIA</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Georgia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Georgia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Conservatives" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Conservatives</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Extremism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Extremism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Fascism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Fascism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/RepublicanParty" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#RepublicanParty</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hate</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Bigotry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bigotry</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Violence" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Violence</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Genocide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Genocide</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Discrimination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Discrimination</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transphobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transphobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ThePartyOfHate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ThePartyOfHate</a> <a href="https://newrepublic.com/post/178759/georgia-republicans-womens-rights-bill-lgbtq" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://newrepublic.com/post/178759/georgia-republicans-womens-rights-bill-lgbtq</a>

River J. HopkinsA little over 1/3 done! 82 more pages to go!! 🥳 <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/Editing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Editing</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/AmEditing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AmEditing</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/Rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewrite</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/Rewriting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewriting</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/AmRewriting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AmRewriting</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/WIP" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WIP</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/WritingCommunity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WritingCommunity</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/Writing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Writing</a> <a href="https://writing.exchange/tags/AmWriting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AmWriting</a>

Jote 🏳️‍🌈 :verified_gay:I am <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/bored" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#bored</a>. So throw something in <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/writing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#writing</a> at me, and I will <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> it in a <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/professional" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#professional</a> / <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/legalese" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#legalese</a> <a href="https://social.plux.wtf/tags/tone" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#tone</a>.For example: "That idea is fucking dumb on way more levels than I have words for.".Can become:"The proposition in question lacks merit and demonstrates a deficiency of understanding that exceeds my ability to articulate in brief. An appropriate methodology for resolving the issue is well-documented within our established Standard Operating Procedures."

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Ohio" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Ohio</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Republicans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Republicans</a> Want to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewrite</a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Rules" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rules</a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Thwart" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Thwart</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Abortion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Abortion</a> and <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Rights" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rights</a>. <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Conservative" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Conservative</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hategroups" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hategroups</a> are pushing <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Issue1" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Issue1</a>, which would require a <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/supermajority" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#supermajority</a> for any <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/petition" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#petition</a>-based <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/constitutional" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#constitutional</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/amendments" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#amendments</a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/pass" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pass</a>. <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Women" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Women</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transgender</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQ</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQIA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LGBTQIA</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Ohio" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Ohio</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Conservatives" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Conservatives</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Extremism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Extremism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Fascism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Fascism</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/RepublicanParty" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#RepublicanParty</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Religion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Religion</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Hate</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Bigotry" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Bigotry</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Violence" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Violence</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Genocide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Genocide</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Discrimination" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Discrimination</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Misogyny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Misogyny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Homophobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Homophobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transphobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Transphobia</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/EmptyThePews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#EmptyThePews</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ThePartyOfHate" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ThePartyOfHate</a> <a href="https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/ohio-election-issue-1-republicans-abortion-lgbtq-rights/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank">https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/ohio-election-issue-1-republicans-abortion-lgbtq-rights/</a>

Greg MillerDisappointed with your 1st draft? Console yourself with this, from Thomas Edison:"I was always afraid of things that worked the first time."<a href="https://zirk.us/tags/AmWriting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AmWriting</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/WIP" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WIP</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/FirstNovel" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FirstNovel</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/Rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewrite</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/CreativeAdvice" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#CreativeAdvice</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/WritingAdvice" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#WritingAdvice</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/writer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#writer</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/writers" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#writers</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/writing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#writing</a> @amwriting @writers @writingcommunity <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/writingCommunity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#writingCommunity</a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/forWriters" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#forWriters</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Thai" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Thai</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Coalition" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Coalition</a> Agrees on <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Plans" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Plans</a> But <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Silent" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Silent</a> On <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/RoyalInsult" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#RoyalInsult</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/reform" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#reform</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Thailand" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Thailand</a>'s <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/government" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#government</a>-in-waiting on Monday announced ambitious plans to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/constitution" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#constitution</a>, end <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/militaryconscription" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#militaryconscription</a> and allow <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/samesexmarriage" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#samesexmarriage</a>, but made no mention of highly controversial proposals to change <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/royalinsult" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#royalinsult</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/laws" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#laws</a>.<a href="https://www.barrons.com/news/thai-coalition-agrees-plans-but-silent-on-royal-insult-reform-c6468105" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.barrons.com/news/thai-coalition-agrees-plans-but-silent-on-royal-insult-reform-c6468105</a>

Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Thai" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Thai</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/coalition" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#coalition</a> seals deal, <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/pledges" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pledges</a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#rewrite</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Constitution" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Constitution</a> and <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/recognise" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#recognise</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/samesexmarriage" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#samesexmarriage</a> Eight <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/political" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#political</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/parties" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#parties</a> that won a majority of <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/seats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#seats</a> in <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Thailand" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Thailand</a>’s May 14 <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/generalelection" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#generalelection</a> signed a memorandum of understanding (<a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/MOU" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#MOU</a>) on Monday, pledging to rewrite the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Constitution" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Constitution</a>, <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/recognise" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#recognise</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/samesexmarriage" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#samesexmarriage</a>, and end <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/militaryconscription" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#militaryconscription</a> except in times of <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/emergency" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#emergency</a> <a href="https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/thai-coalition-seals-deal-pledges-to-rewrite-constitution-and-recognise-same-sex-marriage" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/thai-coalition-seals-deal-pledges-to-rewrite-constitution-and-recognise-same-sex-marriage</a>

TheBirdI'm just gonna rewrite Book 2 of <a href="https://ni.hil.ist/tags/LegendOfKorra" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#LegendOfKorra</a>. Why? Here's the link: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/45387310/chapters/114194296" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://archiveofourown.org/works/45387310/chapters/114194296</a> (I need to add in Korra's chapter between the ones I already posted that is Asami's perspective still. I also have more to write, so other LoK projects are sort of on hold - or rather being done as a side thing to give me a chance to percolate on how best to represent things in print.) First off: The Civil War plotline was too condensed and didn't really dig into the multi-facet aspects of WHY the tension between the tribes were so high. It also failed to line up with the spirit portion of the storyline. In fact, once Korra learns of Vaatu, the Civil War plotline sort of... disappears? So the problems the South had concerning their lost traditions isn't ever dealt with. So let's review the lore: 1. During One Hundred Year War, North abandons the South. Fire nation is enacting genocide against waterbenders in the South. This means most Southerners are nonbenders due to this horrible genocide, and when the War is over, those waterbenders that survived the genocide in Fire Nation prisons return old, frail, and sick. Many don't survive. This means most Southerners are now nonbenders. 2. After the One Hundred Year War, North is the primary nation doing the Southern Reconstruction Project. They also had several skirmishes where they tried to take over several oil rigs the South had constructed. So they were already trying to rebuild the South the way they thought it ought to exist. Part of its commercialization was due to that project and also the South struggling to find its lost heritage. Varrick's rise to success is him capitalizing on the results of the North's push to modernize and rebuild the South. So Varrick symbolizes the continuation of that project. 3. There was a group led by Nakul (see the Avatar Roleplaying Rule Book for a good write up of her) that traveled both tribes to gather stories and rituals. This group also had connections to a secret village in Southern Water Tribe, who managed to escape the One Hundred Year War's genocide (One of the Last Airbender's comics with Aang and Katara and Sokka covered this village). This kept some of the Southern traditions and rituals alive, but the problem is that the North doesn't view the Southern traditions/rituals as valid or as existing in any capacity. They instead view their traditions as superior. Also, the North's intolerance and modernization efforts push this village's keeping of stories and traditions into hiding. Katara has connections to this, and although she tries to instill these stories in Korra, Korra's impatience and inability to connect with her spiritual side hinder her. (This is why I'm convinced that Korra never meets anyone from this hidden village as the danger of exposure is too great and Korra isn't ready yet to learn from them.) So based on those three things, the North imposing its will on how the South ought to exist is very much a violation of trust and yet another betrayal for the South. Is it any wonder they want independence? There's also the theme that the South chose to go the route of commerce and neglect their spiritual heritage, except in the Reconstruction Project during Aang's Era, the NORTH was primarily in charge and funding that project. This means that the route the South is currently on for their future was instigated by the North. How much is Unalaq's actions due to anger at what his people did to the South? Does he realize this history at all? Book 2 doesn't show that he does, and only paints him as pure evil in the end, which I found a bit unbelievable.So, to recap: The South had lost a lot of their heritage and traditions due to genocide,and were struggling to find them again, but the Reconstruction Project pushed this rediscovering their heritage into hiding. These traditions were not the same as the North's, so Unalaq forcing the North's ways on the south is yet again violating them. It's not giving them space and support to reestablish some of their traditions/rituals/heritage. So instead of helping the south rediscover this, Unalaq takes control to make a carbon copy of the North down south.Again, this is where Book 2 fails to really dig into Unalaq's motivations. They story paints him as power-hungry. That is one-dimensional, which is strange because other antagonists in Legend of Korra are allowed to be complex but not him?How could I fix that then? I think it would make way more sense to have Unalaq be more sensitive than Tonraq, and when Tonraq burns the spirit forest that leads to his banishment - I think it would have made more sense for Unalaq to not be the one who orchestrated that. Instead, Unalaq views this as a betrayal on Tonraq's part of their heritage, and this would have driving Unalaq more into zealotry to restore the damage. To learn more. In turn, Unalaq would come to find the closed Northern portal, then meditate and discover the Tree of Time imprisoning Vaatu. This is where I believe Unalaq could have been lead astray in his talks with Vaatu. Just as Vaatu had lead astray Wan, leading to Wan stopping the fight between Vaatu and Raava. Vaatu could have lead astray Unalaq. In what ways could Vaatu lead Unalaq astray? By manipulating Unalaq's tendency toward binary thinking and Unalaq's determination to restore spiritual harmony. Vaatu could lead Unalaq into thinking that because there is a Light Avatar, then there must be a Dark Avatar to truly bring about harmony. Thus setting him on his journey to restore the South's spiritual side. This would have given him a lot more complexity, AND give him a reason to want to free Vaatu. It will also provide a chance for Korra to reflect on the danger's of binary thinking, which is what lead to Unalaq's downfall.Since the Harmonic Convergence is when both Raava and Vaatu are at the height of their powers, it would make sense to me for Vaatu to try to find someone to manipulate into freeing them. Unalaq is a prime candidate. And why I'm disappointed the show never set it up like that. Another problem with the Civil War is that it doesn't deal with the dark spirits attacking very well. Yes, I know part of that is Unalaq's doing, but some of that is indeed because of the disharmony from the problems the South is facing and the fact its heritage is mostly lost. Book 2 drops the Civil War plotline fairly quickly after Korra's memory is lost from a dark spirit and she discovers the original Avatar - Wan. That made no sense to me, because the Civil War is tied up with the spirit plotline. Also, the rebels wouldn't have been just a small contingent, not with the amount of unrest Book 2 hinted at, and the lore says existed. So the Civil War needs to continue to wage WHILE Korra is also dealing with stopping Unalaq's zealotry. I also wanted to see Korra push more toward trying to convince Unalaq against his plan to appeal to his desire for harmony, but the show set up Unalaq as all evil so that's done poorly I think. That's the themes in Season 2 - commercialization versus tradition, technology versus spirit, independence versus control.How will I rewrite to fix the above problems?I plan to weave the spirit storyline with the Civil War storyline, so that the two are interconnected. Thus, the Civil War won't be resolved until the spirit issues are resolved as well. The alternative motivations I described above for Unalaq is what I'll be using for this rewrite.The Civil War will take place over weeks and tensions will escalate to a boiling point until there's fighting in the streets.Next, The hidden village that survived the One Hundred Year war will be one of the last bastions of Southern traditions and rituals, and based on the comics, Katara knows of them. My goal is for Asami to get caught up in a dark spirit battle in the streets. She witnesses a Southerner calming the spirits, and learns of the group. The fight leaves her with hypothermia and injuries, and that will put her in a position to encounter Katara for healing. (Note: in my fanfiction I have Asami living with the Air Bender family during her time recovering from Amon crisis and sorting out her business. Pema includes her in a lot of things as part of the family. So she's already met with Katara and sat with them at the Great Feast). This will play directly into the conflict of the theme technology vs tradition.I'm also having Korra dream of Avatar Wan right away (but not yet know his name), but no one so far can help her on what that means. Chief Unalaq will claim opening the spirit portal will aid in this (as well as his other claims to manipulate Korra into opening it), but opening the portal will only increase spirit activity and fail to bring insight into the visions. When she finds out Asami was attacked, she will learn of the mission with Katara. Asami convinces her to go with them. This hidden group of Southerners will guide Korra in a meditation that follows the ways of her people, which will give Korra more visions of Avatar Wan. I think this is crucial for her to reconnect with her tribe's heritage, which in turn provides a great way for her to learn of Raava and Vaatu. Another reason for this: Korra is given several perspectives to this war. One is Chief Unalaq's (sadly his has the most affect on her in the original story). Another is Tonraq, her father, and Varrick (more extreme than Tonraq). Except that's not all of the perspectives. There is a pocket of Southerners left that know the traditions and Korra needs to visit them to get the full picture of the entire conflict.I had to set that meeting up properly, and the best way seemed to be through Asami. Asami is the one whose technology could change the tide of the war, but is that the right way to go? Will it cause more imbalance? Is it ethical to profit on war? How much of that fuels the dark spirits' anger? That is her struggle, and it mirrors Korra's own struggle with how to repair the loss of ritual/traditions within her people and restore harmony to the spirits.So truthfully, Season 2 really ought to have focused more on the contrast between Asami (technology) and Korra (spiritual). We sort of get this but it's dominated by Varrick (commercialization and technology), which is played up for comic relief. (Ugh, why.) Varrick is the antagonist along with Unalaq -- where Varrick is the foil to Unalaq in terms of antagonist development. However, we need a reflection foil for Asami and Korra, and honestly, the only ones that fit that is each other. Korra's anger at her father will play a major role too, since that's partly why she turns her back on Tenzin and her father and goes to Unalaq for training. Eventually, Korra will return to Tenzin for his help in reaching the spirit world, so that part is unchanged. (I ADORED Tenzin's family's scenes in the air temples, as I felt that was the strongest part of Book 2, so that part is unchanged. I will also put more emphasis on that collection of scenes where Jinora is drawn to an unknown Avatar - I want to line that up with Korra's visions, to show that was Wan Jinora was drawn to.) Korra will also visit the Sacred Water Tribe Island (Lore situates it about halfway between the south and north poles in the middle of the ocean), and this will be where she finally sorts out her visions to get the full story of Wan, Raava, and Vaatu. Her reason for going here will be because the hidden village's leaders tasks her with this so that she can discover the truth of her visions. Now what about the Republic City portion of Season 2? That situation is mostly Varrick being a manipulative extremist trying to push the city into helping his people. However, it also was about Asami's struggle to save her company, and Mako's struggle with who he needs to be loyal to. Will I change this part of the Season? Yes. Asami will have a lot more knowledge about the state of the Southerners and how technology - especially weapons - may impact the spirits. This puts her in a different position on what to do with her inventory. She will try to push Varrick into a deal but will refuse to sell anything but the satomobiles and civilian planes. No war machines. That's why her stock is stolen. Her stolen stock and the discovery that it was Varrick who did it, will lead Asami rushing to find Korra. Upon which Korra and Tenzin's family meet up with them again. They will rush to the south to try to stop the use of the technology before it worsens the war, only to find they are too late. Battles are raging in the streets, dark spirits are feeding off this, and Chief Unalaq has massive forces guarding the portal. Korra and Asami will go to the hidden village to ask for their help. The village leader's will agree to aid their brethren, but they state they will only help if Asami can find a way to stop the use of the stolen war machines. Team Avatar then comes up with a plan to sabotage the war machines and steal a plane (to use to get Korra to the spirit portal and past Unalaq's forces). With those war machines sabotaged, the hidden village comes out of hiding to stop the dark spirits and protect everyone (North and South) from them while Team Avatar goes to stop Unalaq's misguided attempt at "harmony."While the benders fight Unalaq/Vaatu in spirit world, Asami, tasked with getting an injured Tonraq to safety, will not wait idly for Jinora to wake. She will instead promise Tonraq that she will aid his people. And this sends her on a sabotage campaign, where she fights alongside the Hidden Villager's against Dark Spirits (she will act as their protector in a way, distracting Northern Troops so the Hidden Villagers can do their cleansing spirit rituals). She'll get to witness giant Korra too, haha.So when Unavaatu is defeated, Korra returns to put an end to the Civil War. The mechs are disabled and no longer in use, and Asami stands with Korra and others for the speech that brings about the South's independence. This way the dark spirits are held at bay by the Hidden Village's people, and Asami stops the misuse of technology from turning the Civil War even more bloody.I also need to give poor Mako better motivations. He has little to none for most of this Book 2. Mako's original arc is more of a tag-along sidekick that can't be honest about his feelings or issues with Korra (He lies to her about breaking up with her when she returns after losing her memory...) That's not a good arc. I thought maybe he played the role of "reflection," which is a side character archetype that acts as a foil to help the protagonist reflect on events and determine a better course of action. But he fails to be any sort of foil with Korra; he's just... there? He does a better job of falling into this role with Asami and Beifong though during the Republic City story arc. Instead, I'm having Asami be that reflection foil to Korra, and Korra being that foil to Asami. This lays the foundation of their best friend/falling-in-love arc for Book 3.So what does Mako do? He and Korra mutually break up in the South, realizing that it isn't working. In Republic City, his motivation is to find the truth and help his friends. (In my fanfiction story that takes place between Book 1 and Book 2, I detail Asami's trauma, her darkest moment, and her recovery). He is motivated out of guilt at failing to be present for his friends' darkest moments: Asami's and then his brother's escape from abuse. He overworks himself to make up for this, but he doesn't know how to be just a friend to Asami. He tries to force a relationship with her again, and when that fails, he spirals. So he goes back to Korra to help her. The fact both girls will reject him rekindling any further romance will lead to him pushing himself away and why he feels disconnected in Book 3. In Book 3, he has to learn more about who he is and how to be a friend to both girls. This was the best solution I could come up with that didn't deviate too much from the source material. The other possibility for Mako would involve a rewrite of Book 1, where I put him on Tarrlok's taskforce due to him having a vendetta against nonbenders for killing his parents... (The detail of who killed Bolin and Mako's parents is a bit confusing to me.) That would give him complexity and force him to deal with his bigotry, which would extend into Book 2 and make any relationship with Korra even more strained. It would also cause him to struggle with whether to side with Team Avatar on helping the South or side with Republic City who seek to stay neutral. This tension can force him to see that his tendency to try to be as neutral as possible in EVERYTHING (hence his many fights with Korra) is indeed him taking a side. Neutrality in the face of oppression or during times where people are hurt is a side that inadvertently allies itself with the people causing harm. This realization could then help him move toward unlearning his bigotry. This would add more complexity to his character and make him less bland. ( I could still rewrite his role in Book 1 actually. So far, the only writing in Book 1 I've done was focused on some scenes that dealt with Asami, and her story-arc to prepare her for my rewrite of Book 2. I could write scenes of Mako joining the taskforce, which puts him at odds with Asami who distrusts Tarrlok entirely. I may think about if I have energy for that. lol)Sadly, Bolin's arc in Book 2 is only comic relief, and his relationship with Eska is horrendously abusive and I hated how that was played for comic relief. Like wtf. I almost cut it entirely from this rewrite, but then, as a survivor myself, I thought what if I rewrote that? Maybe I can show how abusive it was, to show him struggling to ask for help, and then how his friends aid him in getting out of that safely? (Taking out Varrick's flippant involvement). Then I could show how he heals from that trauma through the help of his friends. As he heals, he'll gain more empathy for others and this will lay the foundation for his determination to help others like Korra does (that we see in latter part of Book 3 and in Book 4). There's also the element of what to do with Eska then. In the lore, her and her twin are shown as supporters of LGBT people and are trying to do good. That doesn't make sense with how they are shown in Book 2. Is there perhaps there is a way to redeem Eska and still keep Bolin's story-arc here?I'm very much a believer in Transformative Justice. As a survivor of abuse, conversion therapy, and rape - I know what that trauma is like and how painful it is to heal from it. Bolin has a tough journey here, but he also is very resilient kid, which will aid his healing. Even though I'm a survivor of some awful trauma, I've always wished for those that caused me harm to understand the harm done, to truly seek redemption, and to truly change for the better. The Avatar universe is built on that principle. (Look at the Air Nomads! Their way of justice is basically a form of transformative justice).For me, I understand that my abuser in my last relationship had been abused by her loved ones, and so not knowing what healthy relationships were like, she continued that cycle with me. My escape from her and my attempts at trying transformative justice with her ultimately failed. But it served as a reminder that the other person MUST be willing to change for this to work. So that leaves me with the dilemma: Is there enough material in Book 2 to prove that Eska is willing to change? Willing to go through redemption and accountability processes? I want to interpret the last few episodes in Book 2 as showing the twins' willingness to change based on learning the truth and finding an alternate way to relate to people that differs from on their father's abusive zealotry/binary-thinking. If I place Team Avatar in a position to save the twins from their own father, this can push the twins toward seeking redemption. I've been debating this back and forth for awhile though. To write it, I'd need to do some chapters from Bolin's point of view I think. And maybe from Eska's? Not sure yet.So, in essence, the Civil War becomes entangled in the conflict between spirits and humans (and what will soon be between Vaatu and Raava). This way the Civil War resolves with the South rediscovering parts of their heritage and gaining independence, and it links these two storylines more coherently.Anyway, curious to hear other's thoughts on my changes. I've done my best to keep most of the same story beats, but what I added (and will add as I complete the remaining chapters) was based on lore that already exists. It's my way to try to avoid this binary approach to good and evil that Book 2 falls into (which doesn't really fit with the Avatar's lore of nothing being a true binary and redemption can be possible).Thoughts?<a href="https://ni.hil.ist/tags/Rewrite" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Rewrite</a> <a href="https://ni.hil.ist/tags/AO3" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AO3</a> <a href="https://ni.hil.ist/tags/FanFiction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#FanFiction</a> <a href="https://ni.hil.ist/tags/JustMyThoughts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#JustMyThoughts</a>

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