If I could help non disabled people understand one thing about being disabled, it would be how important maintaining a baseline is.
When you’re chronically ill, your baseline is everything.
Even minor setbacks can be catastrophic, so we have to do a risk analysis before literally ANY activity
If you’re asking a disabled person to use valuable spoons… be prepared to hear “No”.
It’s not because they’re rude or they don’t like you or they’re “not trying enough”.
It’s because they know their body and they’ve assessed the risk of a setback to be too high.
When this happens, please respect their choice.
Imagine how hard it would be for you to constantly have to say “No” to people.
To pass up fun activities because you know you need to prioritize a medical appointment or things like cooking and cleaning.
That’s our reality. We’re working with such a small amount of resources that we have nothing extra to spare.
Boundary setting is incredibly hard, don’t make it harder for us by gaslighting and guilting us.
It’s impossible to understand until you go through it, so please take us at our word.
We’re the ones who suffer the setback. The ones who lose hard earned gains when we push too hard.
Support us, believe us, and let us say “No”
The Conversation UK
Fae of the Starlight 
